Becoming Wise Can Transform Your Life and Your Children's Future!

So, you are a single mom. It isn't what you planned, and it isn't easy. Instead of worrying about everything you can't give your kids, focus on what you can give them. Becoming a wise woman is the best gift you can give your kids—it is far better than getting them into good schools or sports and buying them things. Wisdom is better than money, and getting wisdom is an act of self-love that has a ripple effect on everyone around you.   

What is wisdom, and how do I get it?

Wisdom isn't just about knowledge; it's the ability to make good decisions in any situation. Being wise means applying God's truths to our lives. God's wisdom is completely different from our regular human thinking—so much so that sometimes it feels upside down. Yet, becoming wise makes life so much better. 

True wisdom comes from God. A deep relationship with him helps you become wise because God is the source of wisdom. Learning to think and act like Jesus is how to become wise.

The starting point is simply asking God for wisdom. Studying and taking in truth (from the Bible, good teachers, podcasts, etc.) and hanging out with wise people are also important. Getting wisdom takes effort, but the payback is well worth it. 

What does wisdom look like in everyday life?

The book of Proverbs is filled with teachings about wisdom, but James 3:13-18 neatly summarizes them. Wise women have the following qualities:   

1. Humble – Wise mothers aren't focused on themselves. They aren't bragging, comparing themselves to others, or putting up a false front that they have it all together. They aren't motivated by selfish ambition. When they screw up, they quickly apologize.

2. Integrity – Wise moms have integrity. They are honest and moral. They tell the truth, keep their word, manage their finances, have self-control, and guard their hearts and sexuality. Wise mothers are authentic because they understand that God defines their identity. They are genuine, real, and honest—they don’t work to impress people. Wise people shun evil. 

3. Good deeds – Wise mothers help others. They look beyond themselves and their circumstances. They are quick to be there for friends, families, and others (but not at the expense of their own families).

4. Considerate – Wise mothers treat others with dignity and respect. They speak with kindness and concern and use their words to bless. Wise people don't "go off" on others or give them a piece of their mind. Instead, they control their mouths. 

5. Reasonable – Wise women don't always have to have things their way or be right all the time. They can listen to another point of view and consider other ways of doing things. Wise women can yield to others and learn from their experience (this does not mean being victims). Choosing to yield your rights is letting others' needs and preferences take precedence; you choose to do it someone else's way.

6. Teachable – Wise women get and take advice. They accept orders from their boss and others. Wise people are always learning and growing.   

7. Peace-loving – Wise mothers don't start conflicts or add fuel to divisions; they don't hold grudges or hold on to anger. Instead, they work to end strife and turmoil. Wise women stay far away from gossip and criticism because they lead to conflict and hurt.

8. Forgiving – Wise mothers are quick to forgive.  They forgive others with the same grace and forgiveness they've received from the Lord. They do not let bitterness take root in their heart or be controlled by anger. Wise moms are careful not to criticize or demean their child's father. 

9. Impartial – Wise mothers are fair and just. They do the right thing. They don’t favor one child over another or compare their children. Wise people don't play politics at work or use power unfairly.

Learning to be wise is a step-by-step journey.

Becoming a wise mom takes time and effort. Choosing wisdom is like developing your muscles. You start small, but they become stronger every time you exercise. Pretty soon, it is easier to make wise decisions because you are wise. 

Remember that children absorb our behaviors daily. They learn from what we do, which can influence their decision-making for years. If you become wise, it will help your children to be wise.

Here are some practical strategies to become wiser.

Seek Truth and Question your Thinking

Truth-seeking is a cornerstone of wisdom. It involves questioning assumptions, analyzing arguments, and evaluating evidence. Ask yourself if your beliefs are really true. Don't believe that everything you think is automatically true. Analyze your thoughts and assumptions. Ask God to reveal his truth to you. Romans 12:2 says that we are transformed when we "renew our mind."

For instance, instead of providing answers right away, ask your children open-ended questions like, "What do you think about this situation?" or "How might you approach this problem differently?" This encourages them to explore their thoughts and strengthens their analytical skills. Moreover, statistics show that children who engage in regular critical thinking exercises perform better academically, which opens doors to future opportunities.

Learn to Grow from Challenges and Hardships

A key aspect of wisdom is the ability to adapt to change. Life can be difficult and unpredictable. God never promised an easy life with everything we want. Yet, we learn and grow the most in difficult times. Teach your children that challenges can lead to growth and that joy is not dependent on circumstances.

For example, when encountering a family move or a significant life change, highlight the potential for new experiences and friendships. Share how change has positively impacted your life in the past, instilling in them the idea that adaptability is a strength rather than a burden.

Spend Time with Wise People

Spending time with wise people can help you and your children on the road to wisdom. Surrounding yourself and your family with wise mentors can profoundly impact your life choices. Their insights offer valuable lessons that you can share with your children.

Introduce your kids to wise mentors in their lives—whether it's a teacher, coach, or family friend. Having role models who exemplify wisdom will inspire both you and your children to be wise.

If your friends continue to make unwise choices and are uninterested in pursuing truth, look for new friends and mentors. Don't always look for friends who are just like you. Seek friendships with older people and people with a history of making wise choices. Understand that you become like the people you spend the most time with.

Get Wise by Reading and Learning

Read and study the Bible. Be teachable and always be ready to learn. Teaching your kids that God is our source and encouraging them to seek wisdom empowers them to tackle problems confidently.

Good books are also powerful tools for gaining wisdom. Books allow us to learn from the experiences of others, broadening our horizons. Make reading and learning a shared activity in your home, encouraging discussions about the stories you explore together.

Select books that impart important lessons on morality, resilience, and character. By sharing these experiences, you not only foster wisdom but also strengthen your family bond through meaningful discussions.

A Lasting Legacy of Wisdom

In a chaotic world, the pursuit of wisdom is more than a personal journey; it is a legacy that enriches the lives of your children and those around you. One of the most effective ways to instill wisdom in your children is by modeling wise behavior. Show them how to make thoughtful decisions, treat others with respect, and demonstrate emotional intelligence in everyday life.

Children learn best through observation. Be conscious of how you approach challenges, express your emotions, and handle conflicts. Your behavior serves as a blueprint for them, reinforcing the values and lessons you hope to pass on.

Embrace wisdom in your daily life and share your lessons with your children. Inspire them to grow into wise individuals. The impact will be profound—shaping not just your lives, but the lives of future generations.