Getting Ready for School or Daycare

Renee Wixon
Sep 8
6 min read

Updated: Sep 10

Getting Ready for School or Daycare

Transitioning from summer, holidays, or trips back into school or daycare can be difficult and chaotic, but there is hope! These tips will help set you up for success in preparing yourself and your child for school or daycare.

1. Choose the best school. Your kids spend most of their day at school or daycare, so it is critical that you select the best school(s) for your kids. Pray about this decision and be open to changing schools, even during the school year.

Consider homeschooling. Many single moms make this work.
Consider private, faith-based schools. Many schools have great scholarships.
Don’t make your decision based on your child’s opinion alone. Look at the school’s academic success. Visit the school to see how classrooms are managed. Discuss the school’s values with the principal and teachers.
If the choice of schools needs to be negotiated with their father, consider how to approach the subject gracefully.

2. Prepare yourself.

Commit to being calm each morning. Ask the Lord for wisdom and help. Spend time in a quiet atmosphere before the kids get up. When you are calm and at peace, it is much easier for your kids to be calm and at peace.
Put all important dates on your calendar (school closures, teacher conferences, etc.).
Start getting up a little earlier so that you have time to manage the kids’ frenzy.
Establish schedules and routines for your kids: bedtime, wake time, preparing clothes and backpacks, breakfast, etc. Get them on the school schedule several days before school begins.
Use a tradition or special send-off in the mornings (prayer, song, funny saying, special hugs, etc.)
Inform the teacher of any special needs your child might have.
Listen carefully to teacher feedback, and do not dismiss it.

3. Become familiar with the school and your child’s teachers.

If the school is open, walk through it with your child and learn the layout. If it isn’t open, drive by the school and point out the doors, playgrounds, etc.
Take advantage of any orientation opportunities.
Tour the school and meet the teachers in advance, or at least email with the teacher.
Get on the school’s communication system. Learn how it works.
If your child is attending the same school, talk with your child about upcoming changes, as well as aspects that will remain consistent.

4. Pray.

Pray for your child and with your child about their time at school, their relationships, academics, and extra-curricular activities. Invite your child to pray about their concerns.
Pray specifically for your child’s teacher, administrators, lunch aids, and other school personnel.
Pray for the other students in your child’s classes or activities.
Have a special verse for each week that you memorize together.

5. Prepare your child.

Talk with your child about school.
- Begin by talking with your child about what they can look forward to when school begins.
- Set aside time to chat, ask questions, and coach them. Two weeks before school, ask them, “Are you excited? Do you feel prepared? Do you have any questions?” Avoid leading them toward anxious responses. Don’t ask, “Are you anxious?”
- Have your child organize their backpack and school supplies.
Set and manage expectations.
- Talk through things that will stay the same and things that will be different in the new school year.
- Talk through how they will handle various situations like bullies, being ignored, feeling sick, etc.
- Teach and expect them to do what is in their capacity. Kids need to take responsibility for themselves according to their age.
- Set behavioral expectations. “I expect that you will control yourself and not hit or say unkind things at school. I expect that you will get up, dress, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, and be ready to go on time each morning.” Expect and enforce the rule that your child should do anything that your child can do. Do not get into the habit of being a perpetual servant.
- Prepare your child for unpleasant or out-of-the-ordinary things at school.
- The day before school starts, talk about exactly what will happen the next day to give your child a comfortable mental movie.
Start the schedule and routines in the weeks before school starts. Practice and give kudos and rewards.
- Cease/remove electronics at least one hour before bedtime.
- Spell out each step of the morning routine (no more than three steps at a time).
- Make sure kids get everything ready the night before (outfit, water bottle, assignments, etc.)
- Establish a hard and fast bedtime and keep it.
Set aside time each day to talk with your child and process the day.
- Talk to your child every day, starting with questions like “What was the best thing that happened? Worst? Who did you eat lunch with?” Remember not to ask questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no.”
- Draw on their strengths. You know your children’s personalities and the approaches that work with each child.
- Be quick to pray with your child about any issues or concerns.

6. Be the best coparent you can be.

Try to have a respectful conversation with their father about school readiness, expectations, schedules, and responsibilities.
If possible, write up your agreement.
Talk through the shared school schedule with your child if you have shared custody and they spend part of the week with the other parent.
Focus on the best interests of your child(ren), not your personal preferences.

7. Prepare your home and set up systems.

Sort and organize clothes, jackets, shoes, and boots for school.
Plan snacks and meals. Stock up on what you use/need. Keep breakfast simple and healthy.
Set up your home so that morning and evening routines are simple. This is particularly helpful for neurodiverse kids.
- Clothes and shoes have a consistent place.
- Set up a backpack staging area.
- Jackets, boots, and mittens should be within reach for each child and in the same place every day.
- Get a box for each child’s papers from school.
Confirm bus schedules, school start times, etc.

Troubleshooting Problems at School

Look for these three things to help you determine if your child is struggling at school.

Academics and feedback from the school. Are their grades tanking or are they performing okay? Communication with the teacher or guidance counselor is key. Keep up with their progress on the school’s portal or communication app.
Avoidance of school. Does your child have stomachaches? Avoidance of specific classes or teacher? Maybe that teacher has favorites or maybe the child is getting picked on in that class.
Behavioral changes. Are they having difficulty sleeping? Crying? Not hanging out with kids they used to?

You can help your child by establishing and continuing an honest dialogue. A good model to follow is “I observe this. How is this going for you?” Try to give your child and yourself a non-judgmental way to express yourselves.

You are Your Child's Most Important Teacher

Here are some of the most important things that you can teach your child.

Faith

Teaching and modeling a personal relationship with Jesus is the most important thing you can teach your child. Teach them how God has been faithful to you and teach them how to pray. Show them that being a Christian is very different from other lifestyles.

Identity

Identity and belonging are critical for everyone. Your child will likely struggle as they grow and listen to what others have to say about identity. Your job as a mother is to constantly teach your child that they are created by and for God. Your child has a purpose, and their life has meaning. They need to know that God doesn’t make mistakes and that they are beautiful as his creation. Your child needs to have a deep sense of belonging to your family and others.

Character

Good character qualities are taught, not just caught. Patience, self-control, kindness, and other character qualities need to be modeled in your home and talked about often. Remember that your child is a child, so it takes time to learn and develop character qualities. There will likely be many times when there are growth opportunities.

Skills

Life skills, such as time and money management, will help your child succeed in school and in life. Take the time to teach your kids skills and let them make their own mistakes. What is essential is that they keep trying and learning.

Attitude

Having the right attitude is a lifelong struggle for many of us. Your kids will likely get their feelings hurt, be upset, and want to lash out at others. In your role as a mother, you can both model and teach your kids to reframe their attitude and focus on the good.